Thursday, June 10, 2010

Dear STAC

Four years ago I walked through that STAC door for the very first time. I’ll never forget that moment. It was the first day of school. I was a freshman. I remember what I wore. I remember walking in after the bell rang expecting to get yelled at for being late. I remember standing in the back of the room with another new STACie because there weren’t enough stools for us. I remember being called “newbie” and being thrown into the center of the circle during gauntlet of death. I remember feeling nervous and excited and really small. I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

Four years later and I’m standing onstage during the senior tablo. I can’t fathom how quickly these past four years have gone. There are thirty of us in STAC this year. Thirty students from completely different family situations, circle of friends, social statuses, and of different ages. But for three periods a day every day we come together and leave everything else behind. We are drawn towards each other because we all have something in common. We love art. We’re filled with passion and the need to create. We understand that there’s more to life than high school drama. We have a desire to explore and learn with one another. We are an extremely mature group of people. If we weren’t mature we wouldn’t be able to handle the type of work that we are assigned. We are constantly surprising ourselves with how talented we are and with what we are capable of accomplishing. And this is all because of STAC.

STAC isn’t just another high school class. It’s a life changing experience. It has the ability to pull its members through the most difficult times. It teaches us things that can’t be taught in math or science or Spanish or history. It’s really hard to understand how lucky we are to have the opportunity to be STACies, but we are the luckiest kids in the world. STAC is something bigger than us. It’s something that’s been around for many years and will continue to go on long after all of us graduate Herricks. We come and go, but STAC will still be here. If we’re lucky, we can leave our mark on the program, and I believe that this group will be leaving a big one.

We’ve proven that a group of thirty high school kids can respect each other and love each other. We’ve shown that we can be friends but also co-workers. We know how to fool around and have fun, but we also know when it’s time to buckle down and work. We’ve proven that we know how to support each other and be there for each other. We care for one another. And more importantly, we care about each other’s work and applaud each other when applause is deserved.

I’ve never felt this way about a group of classmates before. And I don’t know if I’ll ever have anything like this again. I hope I do. I hope we all do. But nothing can be guaranteed and that’s why we have to appreciate what we have here and always remember the amazing times we’ve shared.

I’ll always remember our first STAC field trip. I’ll remember when Jesse cross-dressed for the first time as a zombie in that be-kind rewind movie. I’ll remember our do-over fall ritual. I’ll remember watching Bari jump in the pool with a big smile on her face at Ashley’s pool party. I’ll remember being thrown in that pool with my clothes on to shoot the music video. I’ll remember when the lights went out the night we were supposed to have STAC night. I’ll remember crying during the Jim Bonnie workshop and feeling totally connected with each STACie in that room. I’ll remember our Pollack paint fest. I’ll remember washing myself off in the girl’s bathroom and making a mess. I’ll remember Jamesy and how much we all were in love with him. I’ll remember giving everybody hugs after STAC night, feeling like time is too precious.

I want to thank each and every one of you for making my fourth and final year in STAC the best one yet. And I mean it. There really aren’t words to express my gratitude. I am so grateful to have had the chance to work with all of you this year. To all the non-graduating STACies: Remember us seniors. Remember what we’ve shared. Don’t be scared for next year because of all the new people coming in. Embrace them and take the chance to make STAC 10-11 amazing in it’s very own way. Don’t take what we have for granted. Try to soak it all in now because before you know it it’ll be gone. And that’s the emptiest feeling ever. To all the seniors: We did it! We survived high school, but I don’t think we would have done that if it hadn’t been for STAC. You’re all extremely talented people and I know you’re all going on to do amazing things next year in college. But don’t forget this. Don’t forget right now. No matter how far any of you get, always remember the things that you learned in STAC and remember the relationships that made you who you will become. This isn’t goodbye because I’ll be seeing you all at prom and graduation. And who knows, maybe I’ll get to work with some of you again one day. But I want to say that I love you and thank you for giving me joy, inspiration, and creativity. I will miss you all so much.

--Becky Kalman

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Manefesto!

This was an assignment for a class in school - STAC. We had to write manefestos for our end of the year portfolio. My real thing is formatted all nicely with colors but it wouldn't translate onto my blog so here is just the text. Enjoy!

Only one life but so much to do. I will make it worth my time.

Know what I have to do and commit to it. Do not let personal problems or unfortunate situations stop me from achieving what I’m working towards. If something is getting in my way, I need to take a deep breath and push forwards. Be grateful for every opportunity that I am given. You never know what the future has in store for you. Don't take my talent, hard work, or inspirational teachers for granted. The opinion of one person is not the be all, end all. I can’t loose sight of my dream just because it isn’t easy to hear the word “no.” I need to stay positive and always believe in myself, even when I feel like giving up. How can I expect others to believe in me & my talent if I do not even believe in me? Meet new people. Be nice and be friendly. Networking is key in this business. Use that to my advantage. Go one very audition that comes my way. Don't make excuses if I'm not feeling up to it. you never know. Continue to take care of my body. My body is my instrument. Never get lazy with maintaining way. its health. It will always need to be in tip top shape. Make choices and decisions with my health and safety in mind. Don’t think that I am invincible in any way. I am not. Save money, don't spent it. Remember to distinguish the difference between things I need and things I want. Nice clothes can't feed me or pay the rent. Surround myself with people who understand me and will not get upset with me if I’m too busy to spend all my time with them. Make sure that my friends & family know that I love them even if I don’t get to see them as often as I would like to because of my dedication and commitment to my work. I can’t let unnecessary personal matters get in my way. Allow myself to make mistakes and accept that failure is only part of the process to success. Not being perfect does not mean that I'm not talented. Always try to see the fun in things. I'm not entering this business for the money, but because I love it. If it's not fun, I should stop wasting my time.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Big Project - Oy vey

Cassie, Alex, and I were discussing our big project today. We started this film five weeks ago and we're no where near being done and it's due on Monday. Every chance we had in STAC we worked on this film but I think we may have bit off more than we could chew. The dance aspect makes it so much more complicated. The film would have been about 20 minutes worth of dialogue and 10 minutes worth of dance. Although we had a few days each week to work on it, we didn't have complete full weeks because of STAC art and other workshops, and we weren't able to shoot on weekends because my weekends are booked. We didn't think about this when we got all excited about our project and completely ran off with it, expanding our ideas out more and more. Knowing that we aren't going to be able to pull this off felt like crap. I'm used to getting things done and finished. I felt like a failure knowing our original plan wasn't going to happen. But none of us wanted to have nothing to show for ourselves after all that work and choreography that we came up with. So we decided to take one of the main dance pieces and turn it into a music video. We already had 85% of the choreography for it, we finished the rest of it today in class. We're going to shoot it tomorrow and thursday and possibley friday if we can. Cassie can edit it over the weekend. We're really excited about this because even though it'll be tight, we think it's possible to get done. I'm nervous that something won't go the way we planned and it won't get finished but the next two days are going to be spent shooting our butts off. I'm going through the song and choreography again tonight and organizing what shots we need where and writing down the time in the music when things take place. Oh boy.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Big project - Week of May 17

This week we are shooting some more. Today we shot one of the class room scenes - the first time that Zach and Jenny meet. The HD camera makes everything look so much more professional than the other cameras. All of the major dances have been choreographed. There are little segments here and there, but those are short and can be worked out on the spot because it's only a count of 8 spliced in with a montage of non-dance shots.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Big Project - Week of May 10

Today we finished the 2nd piece.. the "break up" scene. There's still some more choreography to get done, but we've already finished two of the big numbers, which everybody is really proud of. We hope to start shooting this week but we are in need of a boom mic? I think that's what it's called. If not, it's choreographing choreographing choreographing.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Big project - Week of May 3

This week we are working on choreography a lot! Today we worked on the "falling for eachother" piece. It's playful, fun, and I'm enjoying myself. It was really funny working with Cassie because I speak in dance language and she speaks in film language and we couldn't always figure out what the other person was saying. We were able to work around it, it just took longer than it should to communicate how a shot would look in terms of the choreography. It was kind of amusing, actually.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Life questions

After watching the movie today, I started thinking... how could I not? I'm going to school to study and train for a business that has the highest percentage of unemployment over other normal businesses. I'm in reality. I know that competition out there is fierce and I don't expect to get a job right out of college. Heck, I don't expect to get a job period! I WANT to get a job. I would LOVE to get a job. I will NEED it like I've never needed anything before. But I don't expect it. Something that I've learned about myself, is that when I get rolling and really dig deep into working on something, that takes priority over everything else. I've gone months without social plans, without spending significant quality time with my family, without having "me" time... Now granted, I don't have to worry about paying rent every month and my parents provide me with food more than three times a day. But I do know that the typical things a teenager finds important: friends, boyfriends/girlfriends, shopping, partying - take a back seat for me when it comes to my dance classes, voice lessons, and auditions. I'm even going to spend senior cut day on the set of a short film, filming a scene as a dancer/extra. While the rest of my friends are at the beach or in the city, I'll be filming. And I'm okay with that. In fact, I'm really excited: I sent in my headshot and resume and they cast me because they liked my look. Now I know that's got nothing to do with talent and there's only so much control I have over my look, but I'm still proud of myself. But anyway, it makes me wonder how far I'd go to follow my dream. Money isn't something that I worry about. It's not something I find important. I'm not getting paid for this film - I do get a free meal but I'm doing it for the experience. When I get paid for something, I'm satisfied and proud of my work, but I wouldn't say that it makes me happy. When I get cast in something, that makes me happy. There's real no way of predicting what I would choose if I were forced to make the decision between persuing my career after 30 years of rejection or a real job, with a house, and a stable financial situation. I won't know that until I'm forced to make the decsion. But I do know that I'll go extremely far, and that I am willing to give up a hell of a lot. I don't want to ever wonder, "what if?" I wan't to know, even if the truth isn't what I'd hope it would be.