Miles from where you are

"I'm miles from where you are

I lay down on the cold ground

I pray that something picks me up

And sets me down in your warm arms"

"They say there is a land, a land drenched with sun. Wherefore is that land? Where is that sun?" I miss you, Israel

Rehearsals - a learning environment

Today I looked at my calender and realized that we have 3 1/2 weeks left of rehearsal until we start tech. First of all I can't believe how fast this semester is going. Second of all I can't believe how fast this rehearsal process is going. And thirdly, I still can't believe that all of this is really happening. This process has been extremely rewarding and I'm so grateful to have been a part of it. I leave rehearsals feeling like an actor, an artist, a person with ideas and an endless amount of possibilities in front of me. I have learned so much throughout this process so far. And I don't just mean learning music, choreography, and blocking. It's been like an acting class, with a different method of acting than what I'm used to and I love it. I feel important, even though I'm not a lead in the show. I feel like my participation matters. Sometimes it's easy to get lost in the ensemble, but I've been creating a really interesting character for myself. I love playing with her during every rehearsal, tweaking things, making discoveries, and exploring parts of her that I didn't even know where there. It's such a great feeling to be able to create something from scratch and have the freedom to expand on my ideas. Not all directors allow their actors to have such freedom. So I feel extremely blessed to have this experience.

I LOVE WCT!

Audition Day! Oh my god. I can't believe it's already been 2 years since I attended audition day at Wagner College as an prospective student. At the time, I hadn't fallen in love with the school yet; It was only one of my nine college auditions I had to go on. But now that I've been here for almost two whole years and after helping out at this year's audition day I'm proud to say that I wouldn't rather be anywhere else.

When I auditioned here and on move in day freshman year I remember thinking that this place was just like Disneyland: everyone was so nice, friendly, happy, and eager to meet the new students. Now that I'm on the other side of things, I realize that Wagner College Theater students really are excited to meet prospective students. We're proud to represent WCT and all the great training that this program has to offer.

Meeting prospective students also made me realize how far I've come in the last two years. I've taken great classes, worked with amazing professors, and learned so much. I've gained confidence in areas that I used to think of as my weaknesses. I've learned how to own who I am as an artist. And I've learned to love each and every "little win" or small accomplishment. Two years ago I was going on auditions to get into college musical theater programs. Now, I'm auditioning for main stage musicals and stage one plays at Wagner College, waking up at 5 AM on Fridays to head to an open call, and auditioning for other professional Summer Stock theaters. I did not think this would be my life halfway through my Sophomore year of college. I realized that my career doesn't start once I graduate from Wagner. My career has already started. It started when I auditioned at Wagner. Coming to this school and being inspired every single day to work harder, get better, make mistakes and learn from them, was one of the best decisions I've ever made. And it excites me that next year 30-somewhat new Freshman Theater Performance majors will have the chance to experience the same thing.

A bedtime drawing

Sometimes you need to turn on the music, sit, put marker and colored pencils to a piece of paper and draw. We used to do this in STAC (in High School). I don't really know what this drawing means and I don't really know if I like it but I did this while listening to "Rolling In the Deep" and here it is. Now it's off to bed.

What I've been up to...

For anybody who likes keeping up to date with what's going on in the theater world, here's something new: Goddess Wheel, music and lyrics by Galt MacDermot book by Matty Selman, to premier this spring at Wagner College. I've been given the wonderful opportunity of being part of this creative process and journey and I am proud to share the show's brand new blog and tumblr with all my blog followers:

goddesswheel.blogspot.com and goddesswheel.tumblr.com

Our fabulous Assistant Director and Assistant Stage Manager are in charge of the two webpages. They will be posting information, pictures, videos, quotes, and anything else exciting as we make our way around the goddess wheel.

Question of the day - January 28 2012

I know I haven't posted any of my daily questions or answers since January 1, but I like today's question so here goes:

How do you describe home?

A place where I feel comfortable in my own skin, where I'm always welcome to be

My homes:

Wagner College Theater

Steps on Broadway

And the newest one - Israel

Ode to Israel

To be in a place that is so old, that has so much history, that means so much to so many people was unlike anything I've ever experienced. And I realized that if I could trace my family tree back 2,000 or 3,000 years I would discover that somewhere down the line my family was from this place. I felt viscerally and emotionally connected to Israel from my first day in Jerusalem. It's amazing to me because of how disconnected I was to Judaism before going on Birthright. I would even go so far as to say that before my trip to Israel, I disliked Judaism and what I understood it to be. But my impression on what it means to be Jewish has been drastically changed for the better. I now wear my Jewish star necklace with pride and my Hamsa ring, which allows me to bring Israel with me wherever I go.

Yes, I am proud to be Jewish. I am part of a people that don't give up. Throughout history we have been hated, attacked, threatened, and murdered over and over again. Yet we continue to live and be proud of who we are. How many ancient civilizations were destroyed by one war? The Jewish people continue to thrive. I say thrive not because we are growing in number but because of the attitude we have about ourselves. Because of this amazing thing called Birthright which gives young Jewish people the opportunity to connect and reconnect to Israel. I say thrive because of the many ways in which one can feel that he or she is Jewish. I am not religious and I don't believe in god. Yet I still consider myself a proud Jew because of my culture, my history, my love for the holiday celebrations, and my moral values. Judaism doesn't exclude people and that is a beautiful thing.

The pride that Israelis have for their country is inspiring. It makes me love the place more. One Israeli soldier told me that if I love Israel, Israel will love me too. Other Israeli soldiers told me that I am always welcome back to Israel, that Israel will always be there for me and will always want me to come back. I've never felt so welcome or wanted by a place before. Like it really matters that I return and remember the love I found for this beautiful country. I will go back one day. I would love to study theater there and to connect on an even deeper level to the country and the people. But for now it's up to me to remember. It's hard to talk to people about my journey because it's impossible to describe to someone who's never been. They can't understand how I feel and it leaves me dissatisfied.