Being home makes me think

What happens when I begin to feel like school is my home and my house is a place where I can see family and old friends? I never thought I'd feel more at home anywhere else than my own house but for the first time in my life it's actually easier to be at school. I love spending time with my family and it's nice to see the people I went to high school with but it's hard. It makes me think about how much is changing and how quickly it's all happening. I'm happy with what is going on in my life but sometimes I miss the way things used to be. I miss the people I used to hang out with. I miss doing the Nutcracker. I miss going to dance every day after school and all day on Saturday from 9:30 AM to 4:30 PM and feeling like I wanted to drop dead at the end of it all. When I'm at school I don't think about this stuff. I have my family and good group of friends at school. I feel like I know those people so well even though we've only spent one semester together. I'd trust them with anything. I work hard and go to classes. I have fun back in the dorms at night and on weekends. I live my life at school and don't look back. None of this type of stuff bothers me. I don't even think about it. But being home in my room, in this town where so many memories took place is like a trigger. It makes me miss the life I had when I used to live here. It makes me sorta sad...

Being at school is easy. (I know I'm repeating myself but whatever that's just how my mind thinks.) I find it easier to move on with my life and adapt to what college has to offer. I smile when I think about high school and what I did during that time in my life. I don't get sad. I don't miss it. Before going off to college I knew things would change. I knew it would become harder and harder to maintain contact with my friends from home but you don't REALLY know until it happens. When I was in high school I felt so safe and secure. I had my group of friends and I knew nobody was going anywhere. Being in college is starting to feel more like the rest of my life. Loosing contact with people I NEVER thought I'd loose contact with from high school has shown me that you never know what's going to happen. You can make plans and plans and then suddenly all your plans can get changed.

I wish I could feel so okay with everything when I'm at home - the way I am at school. I want to just be at peace with everything. Let it be the past. Let it be good, happy memories. Not let it haunt me when I come home. Maybe that should be my new years resolution??...