My first Maine post

I've been in Maine for over a week and so much has happened. It's absolutely beautiful here. We're 100 yards from the Beach, so on a sunny day it's really great to take a short walk down to the water and walk along the sand. But yesterday it rained. And it was the most beautiful thunderstorm I've ever witnessed. In NY when it rains, I get disappointed. But here, there was something so beautiful, comforting, and extremely romantic about the rain and thunder. I didn't mind going outside because the sound of the fat raindrops hitting the pavement, the roof of the buildings, and the tops of cars mixed with the intermittent thunder claps was like music. It was so quiet in town. It was cozy. I think I might like it better when it rains. Or maybe it's just the fact that it's been so beautifully sunny and not humid that the rain seemed like a special treat. Actually, as I'm writing this, sitting on my bed, I just heard the sound of thunder from outside my window. I hope it rains again today. To go outside on the porch and watch the rain while eating lunch would be wonderful.

But I'm not here to fantasize about the rain. I'm here to act. As much as I love music rehearsals, and choreographing the show, my favorite rehearsals have been those dedicated to the scene work, the characters, and the acting. The ease in which I am able to relate to this character, only makes my job that much more fun. We have so much in common, Luisa and I, and I'm finding more and more in common with each rehearsal. Just thinking about how much fun it is to play her makes me want to cry. Part of me wishes that we had more than two weeks of rehearsal time because I want to dig deeper, but at the same time I know that I have a month long run and I will be making discoveries every night in front of a live audience, and that is exciting.

But, as usual, hard work doesn't come free. After only being here for a few days my left foot started bothering me and when the pain didn't go away I decided to get it checked out, only to be told that I have tendonitis. Rest isn't really in the cards for me right now, but I'm trying to stay off of it as much as possible, icing it, and keeping it wrapped up. Although it still hurts, it definitely feels better, so I must be doing something right. Additionally, my voice is exhausted. Singing high B's and C's isn't the easiest task. But I'll be okay. I'm forcing myself not to talk whenever possible and drinking a weird apple cider vinegar concoction that has worked for me before. Once again, I'm being reminded of the fact that my body is my instrument and I've gotta respect it in order to expect it to perform at the highest of standards.

But one of the hardest parts about this whole thing is how much I miss a special someone at home. I knew this wouldn't be easy, and I was right. I find that I'm already counting down the weeks until school starts (less than 9 weeks now) and it isn't because I'm not enjoying myself here. I love rehearsals and the people I'm working with are all so nice and fun to be around. I just wish he could be here as well.

You asked me to blog about you

This is going to be cheesy. And corny. And it might make some pessimistic, vengeful reader out there want to throw up what he had for dinner a few hours ago. But it is true and honest and brave. A few weeks, or maybe a month ago (I don't remember) you asked me to blog about you. You wanted my "international readers" to know about you. But I didn't do it. But how can I have a blog where I post things that are on my mind, that I like, and that are important to me, if I don't include a post or two about you? Besides that, you deserve it. I think I decided to write about something else that night because if I wrote about you I wouldn't know where to start. There's just too much to say. Even now when I've committed to blogging about you, I'm dancing around not really knowing what to talk about. But I was thinking about your request and thinking about not seeing you for ten weeks and I decided I was going to write something for you and put it on here. I don't really know what I'm going to say but I hope you like it.

I'm so glad we can be weird together. I mean if you look at what we've done this past week it's pretty super fun. We spent five hours at the zoo and I could've spent more time there, we ate a lot of delicious food together, we watched baseball games and basketball games on TV both together and apart, I made you watch Friends with me, took your dog on a walk making sure he pooped seven times, illegally watched Madagascar 3 on your computer, went to the pet store and squealed at all animals we could play with, gave and received presents, celebrated birthdays, and watched national geographic. But honestly, what 19 and 20 year olds watch national geographic?! It was interesting though. Weird and freaky. I liked it.

I just re-read that last paragraph and I don't like it for some reason but I'm going to force myself not to delete it. I've gotta be okay with imperfections.

I'm gonna miss you. Ten weeks is a long time. I'm sorry for bringing it up. But actually, I'm really not. Because it's right around the corner. The next time I see you is going to be the last time before we're back at school and that's daunting to me. When I got this job I couldn't seem to wrap my head around the fact that I'd actually be leaving for real for 2/3 of the summer. And even when school ended I knew we had 5 weeks together, well 4 because of our respective Florida vacations, but four weeks seemed like a long time. And it's scary how fast it went. All of a sudden I'm supposed to be packing and getting ready to go and I don't want to. I cry about it sometimes. Little tears that I try to just wipe away as if they were never there. I don't want to be scared and I don't want to be sad but I've never not seen you for 10 weeks before and I know we'll survive but it's the unknown and the unknown is usually a scary place. I try and find strength in seeing what other people do: an actor leaves his wife for four months to film a movie in another country, a young actress leaves her boyfriend for a national tour not knowing the next time they'll get to be together, a recent college graduate proudly watches her boyfriend fight in the US Army not knowing when she'll see him next or get to talk to him on the phone. Am I making too big a deal out of this? I don't know. I don't think so but who knows. The fact is I won't be seeing both my boyfriend and my best friend until the end of August and that makes me sad.

And that's my depressing paragraph. You must've known it was coming.

Besides all the fun together you know what I really like most? How you make almost everything alright? When I'm upset or stressed or angry about something it's always better when you're there. I have my own ways of dealing with things and calming myself down, but it takes a lot longer. You walk into my room, give me a hug, and somehow know just what to do or say. That's a special skill and I'm very lucky you have it. For example, when I got upset today in the rain you told me to get in the car and that you were going to sit with me until I was okay to drive home. To you that probably seems like no big deal, a no brainer, an easy simple gesture. But to me it was just what I needed. An understanding boyfriend to just let me have my moment and keep me company until I was good to go. It meant a lot more to me than you probably realized.

This post is getting really long and it's getting really late and I'm going to see you tomorrow but I hope you like this. I know it's nothing special but you wanted me to blog about you and I finally did. xox