I've gotten so much stuff done the past few days and I feel fabulous! "I feel good, dur dur dur dur dur dur dur. I knew that I would, dur dur dur dur dur dur dur. I feel nice, dur dur dur dur dur dur dur. Like sugar and spice!"
And that's the end of today's blog. He he he
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
More lessons
The past week has been filled with a lot of really intense thinking. I guess that's always what happens after someone you love is suddenly gone. My cousin was a teacher and not only because she worked at POBJFK high school, but because she as a person was always filling others with knowledge - even when they didn't know it. Even now, when she's gone, somehow I still feel like I'm learning from her. She was involved with everything. A full time teacher, mother, and husband, in charge of so many after school clubs and activities. She was always on the move. Always had something to do. It's impossible for someone who didn't know her to fully understand what her day was like. Like I said before, she really lived life to it's fullest. She got everything she could out of it. And she enjoyed every second of it. As I sit here and think about my own self, I hope to squeeze as much out of my time here on earth as she did. I have so much school work to do and it could be extremely overwhelming. (Second semester senior? Not a chance? Does that even exist? Ha Ha Ha) But I feel like if my cousin was here to talk to me she would tell me that doing my school work and learning as much as I can are what I should be doing to get the most out of life. I only have 4 more months left of high school, left of Herricks. As insane as it is, I think that studying and reading and doing research is what I should be doing right now to get the most out of my senior experience. I'll only be a high school senior once. And I'm halfway through it. I'll only learn this material once in my life. It would be nice to actually learn it and remember it in the future. Although, I'm not sure if I'll actually remember it. But it's a nice thought.
I think she would also tell me to enjoy the next three weeks of Carousel rehearsals. Especially hell week. My last high school hell week. That's kind of hard to type. This is my eighth show at Herricks. And my last time performing with these group of kids. Some of them I know really well, as I've done so many shows with them and we have become really good friends. But I also wish I had the chance to get to know some of them better. If my cousin could, I think she'd tell me that it's not too late to get to know them. I still have three weeks. There's still time to make a connection. Even if that connection doesn't last once the show is over, the connection still would have been made. And it'll enhance my performance and the experience and make the time we have to spend together much more fun.
It's weird. I love my cousin and I know she loved me. But it wasn't as if I got to see her all that often. She came to see me in a lot of my shows and I would see her at holidays all the time. So it's not like I got to see her everyday and suddenly that's changed. But I still feel weird. I miss her. I guess I miss knowing that she's there where she's always been.
I feel like everything I do now is related to her. I wear a pink bracelet every day now. It gives me comfort a little. She loved music and theater, so when I sing or rehearse, I feel like I'm doing it for her. She loved knowledge so when I do school work I feel like it's for her. Today in Chamber Choir Ms. O'hanlon quoted Rent. She took her seniors to see that show and I'll always remember the first trip she made with them. I was too young to see Rent, but I knew of the show. I thought it was so cool that a high school was allowing its students to go see a Broadway show in the city with their favorite teacher. I have a very strong memory of sitting on the kitchen floor listening to my cousin and my Mom talk about the show and all the reactions that students had. So when she quoted the lyrics, it made me think of her. She's everywhere. Which is quite amazing considering the type of person she was. I wish there was some way for me to fully encompass her persona on here, but there isn't. The closest I can get is the facebook group dedicated to her which currently has 3,456 members and the number keeps going up. She's touched way more than 3,456 people in her lifetime. Not everybody has a facebook. That's only a small percentage of the effect she has had. I know I'll continue to think about her in the future. And right now everything I do is for her. And I'm going to enjoy every second of it and be grateful for everything that gets thrown at me. That's how my cousin lived her life. And that's how I'm going to live mine. She's taught me that.
I think she would also tell me to enjoy the next three weeks of Carousel rehearsals. Especially hell week. My last high school hell week. That's kind of hard to type. This is my eighth show at Herricks. And my last time performing with these group of kids. Some of them I know really well, as I've done so many shows with them and we have become really good friends. But I also wish I had the chance to get to know some of them better. If my cousin could, I think she'd tell me that it's not too late to get to know them. I still have three weeks. There's still time to make a connection. Even if that connection doesn't last once the show is over, the connection still would have been made. And it'll enhance my performance and the experience and make the time we have to spend together much more fun.
It's weird. I love my cousin and I know she loved me. But it wasn't as if I got to see her all that often. She came to see me in a lot of my shows and I would see her at holidays all the time. So it's not like I got to see her everyday and suddenly that's changed. But I still feel weird. I miss her. I guess I miss knowing that she's there where she's always been.
I feel like everything I do now is related to her. I wear a pink bracelet every day now. It gives me comfort a little. She loved music and theater, so when I sing or rehearse, I feel like I'm doing it for her. She loved knowledge so when I do school work I feel like it's for her. Today in Chamber Choir Ms. O'hanlon quoted Rent. She took her seniors to see that show and I'll always remember the first trip she made with them. I was too young to see Rent, but I knew of the show. I thought it was so cool that a high school was allowing its students to go see a Broadway show in the city with their favorite teacher. I have a very strong memory of sitting on the kitchen floor listening to my cousin and my Mom talk about the show and all the reactions that students had. So when she quoted the lyrics, it made me think of her. She's everywhere. Which is quite amazing considering the type of person she was. I wish there was some way for me to fully encompass her persona on here, but there isn't. The closest I can get is the facebook group dedicated to her which currently has 3,456 members and the number keeps going up. She's touched way more than 3,456 people in her lifetime. Not everybody has a facebook. That's only a small percentage of the effect she has had. I know I'll continue to think about her in the future. And right now everything I do is for her. And I'm going to enjoy every second of it and be grateful for everything that gets thrown at me. That's how my cousin lived her life. And that's how I'm going to live mine. She's taught me that.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Birds eye view, death and dying.
I had my audition up in Fredonia this weekend, so my Dad and I flew up to Buffalo and then drove to Fredonia. I find flying absolutely fascinating. Seeing the world from that view, so high up in the sky is thrilling. Seeing the tiny cars and houses and everything from up above. I was sitting in the window seat so I just looked outside for the take off and landing. It's amazing how little time it takes: one minute your on the runway, and not too long after that your soaring through the clouds and then you can look out the window and see the fluffy white things far below you.
I also decided on my quest project this week. I want to have a fundraiser or fundraisers to raise money for the American Cancer Society in memory of my cousin Sandi. Talk about a life well lived. My cousin touched so many people and changed to many lives in the 50-something years she had on earth. It's something inspiring and humbling. She's a celebrity but not in the sense of paparazzi and national fame, but in the sense of being a town hero. Teacher of the year awards. Hometown hero awards. You name it, she did it. On the last day of class, every year, she would give all her seniors a poster with life lessons on it. One of her students posted it on the facebook page dedicated to her.
TEN SUGGESTIONS FOR A BRIGHTER FUTURE:
1. Realize that life isn't always fair. Accept what you must, and change what you can.
2. Think before you act. A moment of carelessness or anger can cause years of anguish and regret.
3. Look for the beauty in life, in nature, in people, and in yourself.
4. Appreciate what you have: the people, the opporunities, the material possessions.
5. Make the effort to have fun: it's a great way to bond with others, and it makes some of the best memories.
6. Set aside time for yourself. Do something you enjoy without feeling even a little guilty.
7. Accept others without judgement. Everyone is unique, and it's okay to be different.
8. Forgive. Bitterness and resentment hurt you more than the person you direct them at.
9. Learn. Open your mind to new ideas and activities and don't be affraid to try.
10. Dream. Make plans, believe in yourself, and go for what you want.
It's interesting that I should be thinking about flying and the sky and all that and also be thinking about my cousin and passing away and death and dying. There's this idea of heaven. I don't believe in God and I don't believe in the idea of a physical heaven, but I guess there is something to say about finding comfort in the idea of people looking down on loved ones once they've passed on.
I also decided on my quest project this week. I want to have a fundraiser or fundraisers to raise money for the American Cancer Society in memory of my cousin Sandi. Talk about a life well lived. My cousin touched so many people and changed to many lives in the 50-something years she had on earth. It's something inspiring and humbling. She's a celebrity but not in the sense of paparazzi and national fame, but in the sense of being a town hero. Teacher of the year awards. Hometown hero awards. You name it, she did it. On the last day of class, every year, she would give all her seniors a poster with life lessons on it. One of her students posted it on the facebook page dedicated to her.
TEN SUGGESTIONS FOR A BRIGHTER FUTURE:
1. Realize that life isn't always fair. Accept what you must, and change what you can.
2. Think before you act. A moment of carelessness or anger can cause years of anguish and regret.
3. Look for the beauty in life, in nature, in people, and in yourself.
4. Appreciate what you have: the people, the opporunities, the material possessions.
5. Make the effort to have fun: it's a great way to bond with others, and it makes some of the best memories.
6. Set aside time for yourself. Do something you enjoy without feeling even a little guilty.
7. Accept others without judgement. Everyone is unique, and it's okay to be different.
8. Forgive. Bitterness and resentment hurt you more than the person you direct them at.
9. Learn. Open your mind to new ideas and activities and don't be affraid to try.
10. Dream. Make plans, believe in yourself, and go for what you want.
It's interesting that I should be thinking about flying and the sky and all that and also be thinking about my cousin and passing away and death and dying. There's this idea of heaven. I don't believe in God and I don't believe in the idea of a physical heaven, but I guess there is something to say about finding comfort in the idea of people looking down on loved ones once they've passed on.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Vacation?
My Feb. vacation started Tuesday night when I found out that we had a snow day the next day. I was so excited. I spend two whole days in my PJs doing nothing. Well, okay, that's not true. I read and practiced a lot. And I slept, which was needed. It was great. And so anyway, not I'm on vacation and it doesn't really feel like vacation. Every single minute of my week except next Sunday, the 21st is scheduled. And I'm not kidding. For example tomorrow: Wake up at 10. Eat breakfast, shower, change, read for AP Lit if I have time. Rehearsal from 12-3. Come home, warm up. Voice lesson from 3:30-4:30. After that work on my dance for my Muhlenberg audition and read more for AP Lit. Go out at night. It's insane. It's really confusing for me. I live my life on a busy schedule like this all the time. It's never really bothered me before. I guess that's because I always knew that I had vacations built into my year to take a week to relax. But this year those vacations don't exist. Just because I don't have school doesn't mean that I'm off. I still have school work to do along with other stuff. But the thing is, the other stuff, which I have always considered fun turns into something stressful. Like rehearsal, or going out with my friends, or going on an audition. That's ironic, isn't it? Going out with friends is supposed to be what people do to take a load off. In my case, it only adds madness and chaos. One of my best friends who I don't hang out with outside of dance texted me last night asking when I was free. I had to tell her I wasn't. I felt so bad saying no to her. Making plans, being social, is more stressful right now than anything else. There's something odd about that. These are all things which during the normal school year I enjoy and look forward to. But now my brain is telling me I'm supposed to be on vacation, relaxing, taking time off, and it's very confused by the fact that I'm not doing any of that. I guess I feel like because I don't have time to do nothing, I can't appreciate everything else that I want to enjoy doing. Does that make any sense? It's like too much of anything isn't good. I just want one week to relax. If I had that, I know I'd be able to appreciate everything else that I have to do and I would be able to enjoy it the way I always have. If I had one week off, I'd be able to spend it waiting in excited anticipation for when I could jump right back into everything.
There's also stuff going on outside of all this that is probably putting a lot of pressure on me in ways that I wish I didn't have to deal with. And the funny thing is, I'm not really dealing with these issues at all. I pretend they don't exist until suddenly it's staring me right in the face and I have no choice but to deal with it for a day. And when I do have to deal with it, it's like dead weight is being pounded all over me. I don't know how to describe it. It's exhausting. It's really hard for me to talk about so I don't talk much about it. As you can see right now, I haven't even said what's going on and I don't think I will just because I don't see the point in doing so. The odd thing is, this issue makes me think so much about things, one of which completely contradicts my entire first half of this blog/rant. I've been thinking a lot about being grateful for everything, and not taking anything for granted and maybe my ability to be busy is something I need to be a lot more grateful for. I know that this summer I will have lots of time to do what I want to do. And if I want to be busy, then I can be busy. If I want to take it easy, I can take it easy. I'm going to LA to stay with family for a week or two so it'll be really nice. That I can look forward to. I need to just take a big breath and know that everything will get done. It always does. I have no idea how, but I always manage. And usually I feel pretty good about myself afterwords. I also am usually really tired. But oh well.
Anyway as far as my issues go, I don't know how to handle them which means I'll just end up trying to ignore them like I've been doing. Except, I'm pretty sure that's not the best way to go about it. Because soon and I don't know how soon a bomb (figuratively speaking) is going to be dropped and then everything changes. I don't know how I'm going to feel once that happens. Part of me expects to feel relieved, although I feel like a terrible person for saying that. It's very hard to make sense of all this, although I completely understand what I'm saying and I guess that's really what matters. This has turned into some cyber self help therapy blog.
Or here's a new idea... Maybe the reason I'm so worked up about not having time to relax isn't because I actually need time to relax. Maybe it's because I need time to work out this issue that I'm dealing with. To actually sit down, face it, and come to terms with it. If I did that I'd probably feel a lot less cluttered about everything. It would just free up a lot of space. The only problem is I have no idea how to do that. And I'm a little tentative about doing it too.
Happy valentine's day!
There's also stuff going on outside of all this that is probably putting a lot of pressure on me in ways that I wish I didn't have to deal with. And the funny thing is, I'm not really dealing with these issues at all. I pretend they don't exist until suddenly it's staring me right in the face and I have no choice but to deal with it for a day. And when I do have to deal with it, it's like dead weight is being pounded all over me. I don't know how to describe it. It's exhausting. It's really hard for me to talk about so I don't talk much about it. As you can see right now, I haven't even said what's going on and I don't think I will just because I don't see the point in doing so. The odd thing is, this issue makes me think so much about things, one of which completely contradicts my entire first half of this blog/rant. I've been thinking a lot about being grateful for everything, and not taking anything for granted and maybe my ability to be busy is something I need to be a lot more grateful for. I know that this summer I will have lots of time to do what I want to do. And if I want to be busy, then I can be busy. If I want to take it easy, I can take it easy. I'm going to LA to stay with family for a week or two so it'll be really nice. That I can look forward to. I need to just take a big breath and know that everything will get done. It always does. I have no idea how, but I always manage. And usually I feel pretty good about myself afterwords. I also am usually really tired. But oh well.
Anyway as far as my issues go, I don't know how to handle them which means I'll just end up trying to ignore them like I've been doing. Except, I'm pretty sure that's not the best way to go about it. Because soon and I don't know how soon a bomb (figuratively speaking) is going to be dropped and then everything changes. I don't know how I'm going to feel once that happens. Part of me expects to feel relieved, although I feel like a terrible person for saying that. It's very hard to make sense of all this, although I completely understand what I'm saying and I guess that's really what matters. This has turned into some cyber self help therapy blog.
Or here's a new idea... Maybe the reason I'm so worked up about not having time to relax isn't because I actually need time to relax. Maybe it's because I need time to work out this issue that I'm dealing with. To actually sit down, face it, and come to terms with it. If I did that I'd probably feel a lot less cluttered about everything. It would just free up a lot of space. The only problem is I have no idea how to do that. And I'm a little tentative about doing it too.
Happy valentine's day!
Saturday, February 13, 2010
The Physics of Dance
My book finally came in the mail! And I started reading it.
"Though we work hard to give the illusion of defying...gravity...physics applies to every movement we make and must be taken into consideration"
"Technique is only a tool-a beautiful and essential tool but not the ultimate goal. In the end it is the illusion that counts, the character, musicality and intesne personal involvement of the dancer that creates a performancel." -Francia Russell from the forward of The Physics of Dance by Kenneth Laws
"Confusion is the prerequisite for enlightenment." -Peter Platenius
"Though we work hard to give the illusion of defying...gravity...physics applies to every movement we make and must be taken into consideration"
"Technique is only a tool-a beautiful and essential tool but not the ultimate goal. In the end it is the illusion that counts, the character, musicality and intesne personal involvement of the dancer that creates a performancel." -Francia Russell from the forward of The Physics of Dance by Kenneth Laws
"Confusion is the prerequisite for enlightenment." -Peter Platenius
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Snow day entertainment
Last night it was blizzarding outside and my family was keeping warm in our flannel PJs with the heat turned up. I had passed out from exhaustion for about an hour, when I woke up to chaotic noise. The house next door has a lot of really tall trees in their backyard and so telephone wires and other electrical wires run through the trees. Well the weight of the snow was putting so much pressure on one of the wires, that it started to spark. It sounded and looked like our neighbors were putting on a fireworks display in their backyard. And apparently, while I was sleeping one of the sparks started a flame and the tree caught fire for a few seconds, but the snow stopped it from being anything serious. My parents called the fire department when this happened and they came. There was a man outside in the middle of this blizzard in just a t-shirt. And a dog. And 3 huge firetrucks. My Mom whose a bit of a worrier when it comes to stuff like this asked one of the firemen what we should do and he was like "just don't go in your backyard." Then she asked him if we had to leave and he laughed at her with "no you don't have to evacuate." I found this hylarious.
When all that finally died down I practiced my songs and monologues and the whole entire family watched. It was great. My Mom and sister can always give constructive criticism but my Dad's the best. He's like my own personal cheerleader. I think of my Mom and Dad as perfect opposites. They both tell me that they're proud of me, but my Dad is really good at boosting my ego, and my Mom is really good at giving me the reality check and making sure my ego stays in check. I thank them for supporting me and giving me confidence, but making sure I don't get out on control and stay human about this whole thing.
When all that finally died down I practiced my songs and monologues and the whole entire family watched. It was great. My Mom and sister can always give constructive criticism but my Dad's the best. He's like my own personal cheerleader. I think of my Mom and Dad as perfect opposites. They both tell me that they're proud of me, but my Dad is really good at boosting my ego, and my Mom is really good at giving me the reality check and making sure my ego stays in check. I thank them for supporting me and giving me confidence, but making sure I don't get out on control and stay human about this whole thing.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Come on, Amazon.com!!
So about a week or so ago I ordered The Physics of Dance by Kenneth Laws (I'm pretty sure that's the author's name) on Amazon.com. I always order books off of Amazon because they offer great prices and they come in the mail relatively quickly. Well, my Dad gets the e-mail confirmation/credit card bill and it said that I ordered 2 books.. The Physics of Dance and The Decameron. I never ordered The Decameron, I never even searched it on Amazon. Well this weekend, a box came in the mail from Amazon and low and behold they sent me the Decameron. And they won't send me the book I want, but my Dad's credit card has already been charged. This is just silly.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Crazy theater people
Tonight I was tired and not really up for practicing, but I knew I had to so I went about doing it anyway. When I finished one of my songs I started telling my Mom how I felt tired and weak because I was tired but that I wanted to continue just to go through everything since I have an audition next a week. My Aunt is in from California and she shouts down the stairs "you sound great!" Well naturally, I flip out. "AGHH!!!! What? I hate when people do that. I feel like crap. I sound like crap, don't tell me I sound good when I sound bad. Tell me I sound bad." (After I finished practicing I appologized to her and we had a nice little chat about your own perception versus audience perception but anyway...)
Nobody is ever going to be at the top of their game. I was pleased with my practice session tonight because I knew it was the best I could do with my tired self, but frustrated because I know I've done it a million times better before. We do this all the time. People compliment us and we say "no I sucked." If I get a compliment after a performance, no matter how I feel it went, I just take the compliment and say thank you. But if I'm rehearsing and I know it wasn't good, I don't like when people tell me it was. I feel like, I can do so much better so I don't want people thinking that my not so great run through of something is the best I got. Because it's not.
Nobody is ever going to be at the top of their game. I was pleased with my practice session tonight because I knew it was the best I could do with my tired self, but frustrated because I know I've done it a million times better before. We do this all the time. People compliment us and we say "no I sucked." If I get a compliment after a performance, no matter how I feel it went, I just take the compliment and say thank you. But if I'm rehearsing and I know it wasn't good, I don't like when people tell me it was. I feel like, I can do so much better so I don't want people thinking that my not so great run through of something is the best I got. Because it's not.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
The Good Women of Setzuan
I just finished reading The good Women of Setzuan. A few really basic comments:
-The names are comedic. But they also make it hard to remember who is who. A lot of the names begin with the "sh" sound which typically stands for silence. Secrets and silence tie together.
-I also love the way everybody is announced into the scene. It's part of the Brechtian style. It's also just plain funny and kind of stupid in a way. It's almost as if it is assumed that the audience is dumb and needs to know exactly who is about to enter onto the stage or else they'll get confused.
-The names are comedic. But they also make it hard to remember who is who. A lot of the names begin with the "sh" sound which typically stands for silence. Secrets and silence tie together.
-I also love the way everybody is announced into the scene. It's part of the Brechtian style. It's also just plain funny and kind of stupid in a way. It's almost as if it is assumed that the audience is dumb and needs to know exactly who is about to enter onto the stage or else they'll get confused.
Time
ENN. TEST:
Mostly 7. A little 2, and a little 3 and all those other numbers to some degree.
VALUES:
Health/well being, improvement, respect
I've already blogged about all this so I'm not going to repeate myself.
ISSUES:
Liberalism
Ability to think for yourself
** And I'm adding time.
I know these lists are ever changing. And I was thinking about it. I'm an organized person. Everything has it's time and place. Sort of like a slot in my personal universe where each thing can exist. I think of my life in terms of chunks of time. Like right now I'm thinking that I have one more week of school and then I have President's Week break. (My last day of school is next Wednesday because I have ACDA on Thursday with Chamber Choir and an audition that Friday) I even break my days down in terms of time. School lets out at 2:40, from then until 4:30 I have rehearsal. From 4:30 until 6:30 I do homework. From 6:30-7:15 I eat and get ready for dance. Then I have dance until 8:45. I come home and finish off the rest of the night, showering and finishing homework. Somewhere in all of that I have to squeeze in practicing and sleeping. I guess my main issue with time is that there's never enough. Not enough time in a day, in a lifetime. I manage to get everything done, but it would be nice to have more time to do it. The documentary I made about Nutcracker dealt with time. It was my way of coping with the changing of time. Louise's ballet has an aspect of time in that she's growing up. Little Red experienced time because she also grew up. I'm a senior in high school... so that's time.
Mostly 7. A little 2, and a little 3 and all those other numbers to some degree.
VALUES:
Health/well being, improvement, respect
I've already blogged about all this so I'm not going to repeate myself.
ISSUES:
Liberalism
Ability to think for yourself
** And I'm adding time.
I know these lists are ever changing. And I was thinking about it. I'm an organized person. Everything has it's time and place. Sort of like a slot in my personal universe where each thing can exist. I think of my life in terms of chunks of time. Like right now I'm thinking that I have one more week of school and then I have President's Week break. (My last day of school is next Wednesday because I have ACDA on Thursday with Chamber Choir and an audition that Friday) I even break my days down in terms of time. School lets out at 2:40, from then until 4:30 I have rehearsal. From 4:30 until 6:30 I do homework. From 6:30-7:15 I eat and get ready for dance. Then I have dance until 8:45. I come home and finish off the rest of the night, showering and finishing homework. Somewhere in all of that I have to squeeze in practicing and sleeping. I guess my main issue with time is that there's never enough. Not enough time in a day, in a lifetime. I manage to get everything done, but it would be nice to have more time to do it. The documentary I made about Nutcracker dealt with time. It was my way of coping with the changing of time. Louise's ballet has an aspect of time in that she's growing up. Little Red experienced time because she also grew up. I'm a senior in high school... so that's time.
Artist Statement - A work in progress!
Taking a stab at writing a real artist statement:
Preparing for a professional career in musical theatre is similar to training for a triathlon. In a triathlon, an athlete has to run, ride a bicycle, and swim for a lengthy distance. A musical theatre performer is the triathlon athlete of the arts. We are required to sing, to act, and to dance.
I dance, sing, and act because these methods of communication allow me to effect the way my audience is feeling through my dedication and commitment to the piece I am performing. I love working hard on a piece for months on end and getting to perform it in front of a live crowd. It’s like I’m in a race which lasts as long as the rehearsal period and the actual run of the show and closing night is the bittersweet finish line. The feeling of accomplishment is overwhelming and it fills me with joy. But at the same time, the idea of the race being over is emotionally exhausting and lonely.
When I am lucky enough to get cast in a show, a huge chunk of my life begins to revolve around that show. I begin to relate the events in my real life to the events in my characters life on both subconscious and conscious levels. I also look for ways in which I can use my body’s natural abilities and stretch my personal limits. As a dancer, I don’t have an ideal body. I have poor rotation in my hips, short Achilles tendons, and my right ankle is much more flexible than my left. I am always looking for ways to use what I do have – space, movement, time, technique, and power – to make up for what I don’t. As I singer, I had to relearn my technique at the age of 16. I had nodules on my chords, but with the help of vocal therapy and hard work, I was able to get rid of them. I continue to work on my technique and enjoy singing from a healthy place.
I am currently applying to colleges for musical theater and have been working with monologues for those auditions. It is not in a formal acting class, but I am starting to discover the side of me that can act in shows other than old-fashioned, corny musicals. (Not that there’s anything wrong with those shows, I respect that type of work, but it’s only one way of working and I want to be versatile.) I am discovering the importance of subtext and research and knowing exactly what’s going on. It’s very different from what I’m used to doing. I’m letting the characters work through me instead of pushing myself to work through the characters.
Preparing for a professional career in musical theatre is similar to training for a triathlon. In a triathlon, an athlete has to run, ride a bicycle, and swim for a lengthy distance. A musical theatre performer is the triathlon athlete of the arts. We are required to sing, to act, and to dance.
I dance, sing, and act because these methods of communication allow me to effect the way my audience is feeling through my dedication and commitment to the piece I am performing. I love working hard on a piece for months on end and getting to perform it in front of a live crowd. It’s like I’m in a race which lasts as long as the rehearsal period and the actual run of the show and closing night is the bittersweet finish line. The feeling of accomplishment is overwhelming and it fills me with joy. But at the same time, the idea of the race being over is emotionally exhausting and lonely.
When I am lucky enough to get cast in a show, a huge chunk of my life begins to revolve around that show. I begin to relate the events in my real life to the events in my characters life on both subconscious and conscious levels. I also look for ways in which I can use my body’s natural abilities and stretch my personal limits. As a dancer, I don’t have an ideal body. I have poor rotation in my hips, short Achilles tendons, and my right ankle is much more flexible than my left. I am always looking for ways to use what I do have – space, movement, time, technique, and power – to make up for what I don’t. As I singer, I had to relearn my technique at the age of 16. I had nodules on my chords, but with the help of vocal therapy and hard work, I was able to get rid of them. I continue to work on my technique and enjoy singing from a healthy place.
I am currently applying to colleges for musical theater and have been working with monologues for those auditions. It is not in a formal acting class, but I am starting to discover the side of me that can act in shows other than old-fashioned, corny musicals. (Not that there’s anything wrong with those shows, I respect that type of work, but it’s only one way of working and I want to be versatile.) I am discovering the importance of subtext and research and knowing exactly what’s going on. It’s very different from what I’m used to doing. I’m letting the characters work through me instead of pushing myself to work through the characters.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Daily practice
I'm not set on this idea, but I think for my daily practice I want to read plays. I've already kind of gotten myself into this trend. This school year alone I've already conquered Midsummer Night's Dream, King Lear, King Oedipus, Inherit the Wind, Collected Stories, and now I'm onto The Good Woman of Setzuan, which is extremely funny so far. I wanted to read more plays this summer, but I figure why not start right now. I could read a scene a day, or more depending on how long the scenes are. And I would just go through play after play. I could blog about what's going on and any interesting themes I find. The more I write about this, the more I want to do it. I think it would be good for me.
My issues and Values
Since my original blog post a few weeks ago about this, I've done some thinking..
I need to revise my core values: Health, improvement, and respect. I've already talked about the first two. Respect is the new one. Today in class Molly said to think about people we hate and then think about what they don't have that we do. People who I don't like are all disrespectful. It doesn't matter who they are disrespectful to. It could be towards myself, a friend, a teacher, or even to themselves. There is a code of ethics and a respectful manner that all dancers are aware of. I learned this around the age of 11 or 12 and since then being respectful has become more and more important to me. I am friends with people who can be described as respectful. I'm polite because I want to show other people respect.
Today in class when we talked about liberalism and the ability to have your own ideas I realized that that's most definitely one of my artistic issues. Over the past four years, I've grown to be able to think for myself and allow myself to express what I think. Yes, I was one of those kids in middle school who had that herd mentality. I thought what everybody else thought. Or at least I did, on a shallow level. Deep down I had my own thoughts, I just didn't express them and didn't even think to try and find them for myself. And it's been showing itself in my work. One of the monologues I'm doing for college auditions is Rachel from Inherit the Wind. That character's whole journy is about thinking for yourself and being allowed to express your thoughts. "You see I haven't really thought very much. I was always affraid of what I might think so it seemed safer not to think at all...A thought is like a child inside our body. It has to be born. If it dies inside you, part of you dies too." I also worked on the film about gossip, which ties into this in a way. When gossip is spreading your conforming to the ideas of others and spreading those around. You're not stopping to think for yourself, you're getting caught up in the trend.
I need to revise my core values: Health, improvement, and respect. I've already talked about the first two. Respect is the new one. Today in class Molly said to think about people we hate and then think about what they don't have that we do. People who I don't like are all disrespectful. It doesn't matter who they are disrespectful to. It could be towards myself, a friend, a teacher, or even to themselves. There is a code of ethics and a respectful manner that all dancers are aware of. I learned this around the age of 11 or 12 and since then being respectful has become more and more important to me. I am friends with people who can be described as respectful. I'm polite because I want to show other people respect.
Today in class when we talked about liberalism and the ability to have your own ideas I realized that that's most definitely one of my artistic issues. Over the past four years, I've grown to be able to think for myself and allow myself to express what I think. Yes, I was one of those kids in middle school who had that herd mentality. I thought what everybody else thought. Or at least I did, on a shallow level. Deep down I had my own thoughts, I just didn't express them and didn't even think to try and find them for myself. And it's been showing itself in my work. One of the monologues I'm doing for college auditions is Rachel from Inherit the Wind. That character's whole journy is about thinking for yourself and being allowed to express your thoughts. "You see I haven't really thought very much. I was always affraid of what I might think so it seemed safer not to think at all...A thought is like a child inside our body. It has to be born. If it dies inside you, part of you dies too." I also worked on the film about gossip, which ties into this in a way. When gossip is spreading your conforming to the ideas of others and spreading those around. You're not stopping to think for yourself, you're getting caught up in the trend.
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