Jim Bonney workshop #5

I wish Jim was coming back to work with us. We did the higher and lower self exercises today. It was really interesting to do it again at the end of five workshops because of how open everyone has become to one another. It was a lot easier for me to put my higher self, mask, and lower self into words today than it was a few weeks ago. We worked on scenes again. I was the pregnant character again, haha. And my boyfriends were Doug and Matt. They both played the same character. It was kind of weird playing opposite both of them at the same time. I think it would have been better if it had only been one of them but it was definitely an experience! And who knows if I'll ever play a character whose dating two versions of the same guy every again? The best part about today's workshop for me was getting to yell and bitch them out. It's always fun to yell at somebody in a scene, but getting to yell at two people at the same time felt even better. I felt like I was in power and it was refreshing.

Jim Bonney workshop #4

Today's workshop was a;woiejra;sdfjas;dfij ! The energy during all the warm up exercises was buzzing all over the place. It was vibrant and wonderful. It made me feel all filled up inside and really grounded into the ground. I felt like my center of gravity had been lowered into the deep pit of my stomach and even into my feet. I felt like I was apart of something and I was being supported by it. I felt silly and loose too. When we started doing scene work, the scripts were very open ended. There was a lot of room for interpretation. I was partnered with Kali. Our scenario: we used to be best friends, but then her boyfriend got me pregnant. I was coming to her to confess, but since I know that she's already suspicious of what's happened and because I feel like I can't trust her, I chicken out and didn't end up telling her my secret. We worked through the script with repetition, and sounds and got all wiled up. We then did the scene normally and then put down the scripts and improvised it. When we first started the imrpoved version of the scene, I felt frozen and trapped. I felt like I couldn't talk and my lips were disconnected from my body and I wasn't able to make them move anymore. Consequently, I didn't say much. I said little words like "yes" or "no." But about half-way into it something started to happen. Suddenly I hated Kali (not really Kali, her character) and just looking at her hurt me. I was scared of her. The entire room felt like it disappeared, but at the time I wasn't aware of it disappearing. It wasn't until after we were done that I noticed it had melted away. The only people that existed for me was Kali and I. I've used this before, but it felt like being sucked into a vacuum of some sorts. I started talking more than just one word answers and I started crying. It felt really good. I got out of my head which is why I wasn't aware of anything outside of just our little scene. Last year, I had to be put to sleep for a medical procedure. After our scene was over, I felt like I was waking up from that procedure. It felt like "what just happened?" Like the last 2 minutes that I had experienced wasn't really me but at the same time it totally was. It was like being empy and full at the same time. It's so hard to explain. But I know how it felt, and I want to do it again.

Big project - What we did April 27

Today we worked on our script. We're a little more than half-way done. Alex and I also worked on choreography for the last 10 minutes of class. I'm going to youtube some hip hop dances tonight.. stealing.. shhh =]

Started a new practice!!!

Hey everyone!! So I love this whole daily practice thing (something that you do artistically once a day, everyday) that I decided to start a new one in addition to my reading plays one. Actually, I was talking to Nicole about it during Lit and she said that she wanted to start a 365, which got me inspired to start one as well. I figured now is the perfect time to do it because of everything that's going on in my life and all the changes that will soon be happening. So here is my 365 blog... beckygrace365.blogspot.com FOLLOW ME!

for those of you who don't know: I have to take a picture of myself once a day every day for the next 365 days. Here we go!

Big project - Week of April 26

This week we are working on the script. We hope on finishing it this week.

Today we started it ninth period. We got the first two scenes written. The more we work on this the more I can see it happening in my head.

College!!

It's another one of those nights! I'm so excited I actually feel like I'm going to burst. I got a facebook message thread tonight from a all the musical theater majors class of 2014 that are going to Wagner next year about all hanging out in the city in May to meet each other. Everyone is so nice and friendly. I spent hours talking to different future class mates of mine. I've also gotten various wall posts and other messages from current freshman musical theater students. They keep saying how excited they are to meet all the incoming freshman! It's amazing how much support they show for us. It's a tiny school. About 1900 undergraduate. And the musical theater program has about 20 kids or less each year. So it's a really intimate group of people that I'm getting to know. And I cannot wait. I really think Wagner is going to be a great place for me to spend the next four years. AGHHHH!!!!! I can't wait for college

Rob workshop!! Day 1

Today we had to choose a photo partner. Mish and I were partners. We spent a lot of time outside taking pictures and thinking of our deep dark secrets that Rob had us write down on a piece of paper. I'm so used to taking silly pictures or smiling pictures. It was really fun to think of something that nobody knows and to be photographed while thinking about that. We also made the dance studio into a make shift photo studio and we got to take pictures of each other with Rob's camera as well. I think we got some really cool shots with that cause it's professional quality. Again, being vulnerable in front of the camera was kind of addicting. I want to do it again. Every time I have a "photo shoot" I'm reminded of how much I like taking pictures. This magazine is a really great idea. It's gutsy.

Big project - What we did April 22

Today we finished the treatment! We also looked for songs for each number. We found songs for every number but one. I'm really excited for this project to really get rolling. I think I'm the most excited for the break up scene. haha. I can't wait to get mad and go crazy with the dancing. It's gonna be dangerously fun

Jim Bonney workshop #3

What a day! I love this workshop more and more. And I really love the people in it. What went on in the workshop today is secured and understood to be confidential among those who were in the workshop. I will not break that trust. We exercised our emotional lives today. Well we do that every time we meet, but today we really dug into it. It felt good to be supported and to support the other members of my group. I am proud of each and every one of us for being as brave as we were today. Some of us are braver than others, and that's okay. What matters is that each individual is taking giant leaps towards their personal idealized sense of bravery.

Today's song was "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls:

"And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am"

This song really hit home for a lot of us. And I know that each of us brings different meanings to it. I brought a different meaning this year, from the last time we did this workshop about a year ago. The lines "Cause sooner or later it's over/I just don't wanna miss you tonight" really stood out for me personally. And that's because of the context that I'm bringing to it.

So often we make the assumption that other people won't understand what we're going through. But something that I got from today's workshop is that those assumptions aren't true. There are so many people in this world, who all have so many different experiences, that there are people out there who go through the same exact things that you do. And even if you don't know what it's like to go through something, you can still support them. There's a whole world of people out there just waiting to support you. The world can be a cruel place, but I think that deep down inside of us there's a desire to connect. To reach out to somebody. To support somebody.

Big project - What we did April 20

Today we spent a lot of time in the library looking up books about the techniques of filming dance. We finally found that looks like it knows what it's talking about and Cassie is going to order it. The movie "Opus Jazz" is not available to the public. It's being shown at film festivals all over the country, but right now it's not schedule for being shown in NY in the near future. It's also been on TV, but it wasn't listed on the schedule for the next month or two. This could change. But as of right now it's not being shown. However, I was able to find clips of the movie on the website. They're each about 4 minutes long and there are a few of them. We'll watch those to at least get a gist of it. We spent the last two periods working on our treatment. We already had a starting point from the last time we met, and we added to that and changed a bit of it around. We're halfway through with it.

Big project - what we're doing

Cassie, Alex, Mish, and I are making a movie mixing dance with dialogue. It will help us learn how to film dance and it will be a challenge for me to choreograph something that isn't meant for the stage. The film isn't about dance, rather the plot of the film is told through the use of dance.

Big Project - Week of April 19

This week I'll be doing research with Cassie, Alex, and Mish on techniques to film dance. GOOGLE IT!

I'll also be trying to get my hands on NYCB's film "Opus Jazz." It's a story told entirely through dance and it's a film. It would be great for us to watch but it's not the type of thing that we can just pick up at blockbuster. I've tried to get my hands on it before and it wasn't so easy. But maybe since it's been out for about a year it'll be easier. I'm going to make some phone calls and see what I can find out.

If we can't watch that I think it would be a good idea for us to schedule a play date to watch the dance sequences in West Side Story. It'll give us a good idea as to how to film motion without disrupting the natural flow of the choreography. The cinematography shouldn't take away from the dancing, it should add to it.

Jim Bonney workshop #2

On Friday Jim brought in lyrics and had us recite them with different subtexts. I remember doing this last year. After all the work I've done with subtext over the past 7 months I had a really different experience. It's a lot easier for me to think one thing and say another. I understand my motives better and act more on my instincts. Simply stated, I'm more in the moment, free, and spontaneous about it. There's a lot less planning going on, which usually serves as a huge block.

I think I mentioned this in my last blog about the workshop, but I'll say it again. I really like this group. There's a lot of eye contact and the level of comfort is great to work with. When I'm working with a partner, I focus on their eyes and body language a lot. It gives me something to react to and something to work with. It seems like everyone is really open to letting other people in.

At the end of the warm up exercises on Friday I felt a lot differently than I did on Wednesday. On Wednesday I could verbally describe how I was feeling, on Friday I couldn't. But that's not necessarily a bad thing.

Biography

I want to read All His Jazz: the Life and Death of Bob Fosse by Martin Gottfried

The first time I was introduced to the Fosse style was at a summer intensive about 6 or 7 years ago. He is now one of my favorite choreographers. I can't even count how many hours I've spent in a rehearsal with the ATDW Co. perfecting a Fosse piece such as Rich Man's Frug or Crunchy Granola.

Jim Bonney workshop

The workshop today was great! I took this workshop last year and I know that I'm going to have a completely different view on it this year. Since last year's workshop, I've done 3 musicals, the Nutcracker, and worked on monologues for my college auditions. I've also seen a lot of really good theater. Yesterday at Wagner, I got to see the students there do some of the same repeating exercises that Jim does with us. Those students are on a more advanced level, and had to used those exercises to feed into the scene they had to perform that day in class. I was able to see what a huge difference the prep work made. The group that's taking this workshop is a lot more open minded than last years group. There's a more united energy and that makes it easier to trust and to work. If I look like a fool in front of my classmates that's fine with me. I know they won't be judging me and I hope they know that I wont be judging them.

College

Today I followed a student at Wagner College. I got to sit in on two classes - one of them was acting 4, which is a junior acting class. They're working on scenes and two groups were presenting their scenes today. I was able to do the warm ups with the rest of the class and then I got to observe. The work was really impressive and extremely mature. For prep, they did some of the same repetition exercises that we did in Jim Bonney's workshop! I was like, "Oh, I've done that!" Haha, it was cool.

And I have decided - I'm going to Wagner!!! Theater performance major (which is just a fancy way of saying musical theater) I'm so excited. And I cannot believe how easy it was to make this decision - I thought it was going to be a lot harder. I've already started talking to kids on facebook who are going to Wagner next year. Everyone is really friendly and nice. I feel like I kind of already have one foot out the door.

Quote of the day

"You can only enjoy the good in life if you have some hard times to compare it to. After all we only have good because we also have bad. Without bad what would good be? It would be nothing special, that's for sure." -Me, myself, and I

My book presentation

Presenting my book was a lot easier than I thought it would be. I was pleasantly surprised at how easy it was for me to talk about what I had read considering I started this book a little over a month ago. Ideas that I read about at the beginning of the book popped into my head and so I talked about those ideas instead of the ones I had prepared to talk about, which were the ideas he presented later on in the book and the ones I was most familiar with - or so I thought. I discovered that I can give a presentation without any kind of poster or slide show to base it off of. In the past, I've always had either a poster or slide show to back me up during my presentations. I'm not sure what I like better - having a power point, or just casually talking about what I learned.

Having a power point:
PRO-My thoughts are extremely well organized beforehand. I know exactly what I'm going to say and in what order I will say it.
CON-I find that power point presentations tend to get extremely monotonous. Sometimes I forget to actively think while giving my presentation, so I rely solely on the slide show for my information and that can get really boring.

Not having a power point:
PRO-It's easy to say what you mean and how you actually feel. It's more fun for the speaker and the audience. It's natural.
CON-Without something organizing what you want to say, it's really easy to think out loud, and be a little all over the place. The transitions from one topic to the next might be a little awkward and it might not flow as well.

When I dance...

Tonight I was reminded of why I love to dance. When I dance, my world is a better place. Everything else goes away and doesn't matter anymore and I know that everything will turn out alright and that I'll be okay. When I dance all that matters is that I'm in the studio with people who love and support me and we're all dancing, working up a sweat, and creating together. It's peaceful. Relaxing. Energizing. Stimulating. It's the most amazing feeling in the world. And it's comforting too. It's what supports me. And I know that no matter what happens with my life, no matter what changes it'll always be there for me to come home to. Even when I'm old, and my body falls apart, the studio will always be there. I'll still be able to choreograph and dance with my mind and my heart even if I physically can't do the movements. And the music too. The music that I dance to- when I listen to the lyrics, they're telling me good things too.

Thank god for time management =]

I did it! I survived spring break.. well more than survived I had fun. I didn't have any time to rest, or relax but I did get all my home work done that I needed to get done and hung out with friends. It's times like these when I am completely amazed at myself. Thank god for good time management skills. I really don't know where they came from. My parents don't have them, but for some strange reason I was born with them. And for that I am very happy!

Countdowns:
In 4 weeks I will have decided where I'm going to school next year! Right now it's between Wagner, Muhlenberg, and Cortland. But Montclair still hasn't gotten back to me so it's hard to crack down on making this decision until I know if that school is going to be in the running or not. It's either yes or no, pretty simple.
In 5 1/2 weeks I will be all done with AP classes! Now THIS is exciting. Most of my homework comes from my two AP classes and without those classes I know I'll have a lot less to worry about. That's not saying that I wont have anything - I'll still have my Quest project and Pig paper but that doesn't compare to the workload from those two classes combined. I'll also have 2 or 3 periods off depending on if it's a blue or silver day which is the most off periods I've ever had in high school!

Right now life is good and I'm grateful.