Cleaning Out

I cleaned out my room a little bit today. Got rid of a lot of stuff, mostly clothes, that I don't need, or want, or have the room for. I found $20 in a box on my desk which was nice. I found my number from my first audition for a Broadway show. I found a lot of old t-shirts from high school. Battle t-shirts, STAC t-shirts, sweatshirts from everyone's bar/bat mitzvahs and sweet 16s. I found bras that don't fit. And a lot of other things of expired sentimental value. I say they're expired because they meant a lot to me in middle school or in high school. I can appreciate the importance of these objects to that part of my life. And now, with only two weeks left until I'm 21, those objects don't mean much to me anymore. It's funny how your perspective changes as you grow up. Something that seems like life and death when you're 17, just isn't that big of a deal almost 4 years later. And of course I believe that everything in my life happened for a reason. The events, the people I've known, they all helped me learn and grow and made me who I am today. But we grow up. We move on. It's normal and natural and I'm happy with it. Today I laughed at myself and my life and my 14 year old self. And I'm sure that 4 years from now when I'm looking back on my 20 year old self, I'll be laughing as well. And I'm not devaluing anything. I'm not saying that any moment is unimportant because they're all important. Our lives are made up of moments and each moment has the potential of contributing greatly to who we are and our journeys. It's just, when you look back on it after the fact, it's different. It's ironic how much I love the story of Peter Pan. I've loved it ever since I was four years old. It's ironic because Peter Pan does everything in his power to keep from growing up, and here I am, completely okay with it. In fact, I'm excited for it. I think about my future, the possibilities of what it will bring, and I'm excited to find out. I think about this summer and I can't wait to start working. Yipee.

I'm back

I'm back. I'm not sure why I left to begin with. It's been almost a year since my last blog post. Wow, time flies by. The last time I wrote on this thing I was in Maine doing summer stock. So much has happened since then. And there were times when I thought to myself "oh, I wanna blog about this..." and then I would proceed to construct the entire post in my head. But when I got back to my room at the end of the day I had homework, I had to practice, I wanted to be social, cuddle, shower, and live. So documenting my life came to a sort of halt. But anyway, now I'm back.

A group of seniors made a documentary about their theater performance class for their independent study. When I watched their film, I found myself answering some of the questions they were asking their friends: Why did you choose Wagner? How did you get into performing? What was a turning point in your career, both here and outside of Wagner? I realized that I was just as interested in answering those questions as I was interested in listening to the answers of the upperclassmen. I also became very curious what my own classmates would say if they were asked those same questions. It's funny. At school, we live with each other. We spend hours and hours in class together, in rehearsals together, and partying together. And while it seems like we know everything about one another, it occurred to me how much we don't know.

So here we go. Here are my answers.

Why did you choose Wagner?
After narrowing it down to a few programs, I visited Wagner and sat in on a few classes. I went to John's acting 4 and that was it. I saw people rolling around on the floor, slapping each other and themselves, jumping up and down, running around the room, kissing and hugging, and fighting. I now know that this is called pre-work. But at the time I just sat there with my mouth wide open. I thought to myself "I don't know what this is. But it's crazy and cool and I want to do this. This must be what acting is." I left that class and told my mom that I wanted to go to Wagner. We went to the bookstore and got a t-shirt that said Wagner on it, and sent my deposit in later that week.

How did you get into performing?
My mom's a singer and used to act and my dad's a musician. I grew up in a household where I was exposed to Barbara, The Beatles, and show tunes. My parents sang all the time. I started humming before I could even really talk. When I was three years old my parents put me in my first ballet class. I saw Annie on Broadway when I was four years old and decided that I was going to be on Broadway by the time I was twelve. Although that didn't happen, I've had the same dream ever since.

Turning points?
At Wagner: Going to Amsterdam and Junior year (acting 3 and especially 4)
Outside of Wagner: Breaking my foot sophomore year of High School which made me realize how precious it is when I get to dance. My perception of what it means to be a dancer changed 360 degrees. Also, being diagnosed with nodes junior year of High School, which lead to about 2 months of vocal therapy and hard work. I'm the first one to preach that nodes don't have to be the end of your life. I did not need surgery. I did not need to be completely silent. I listened to everything my vocal therapist said and got rid of those babies quicker than the ENT thought I would. Our bodies have an amazing capacity to heal themselves, sometimes they just need a little extra assistance.

And there's still so much more to me than that. It's good to be back.