Getting stuff done = happiness

I was thinking about what we briefly discussed today in class and it kind of put everything in perspective for me!

Even though I haven't hung out with my friends on a Friday night since September 25th (not counting Halloween which was like an event in itself), the past couple of months have been extremely fun for me and although you would expect me to be stressing out since I'm a senior and all, for the most part I haven't been. I tell people that I'm enjoying the college application process and they look at me like I'm a nerd. Maybe I am. But ever since august when I started my college essay, I've been feeling pretty good and confident about myself and it's because I've been finishing stuff. I wrote my essay and I felt good. I edited it and I felt good. I got my english teacher last year to tear it appart and help me make it a "wow" and I felt even better. I got so excited that I blew off doing regular homework one Tuesday night just so I could rewrite and finish the essay. It gets worse... When I gave in my college recommendation letters I wanted to scream and run around in circles. When I spent 4 hours the night before halloween sorting through papers, and addressing envelopes to 7 different schools so that I could hand them into my guidance counselor, I took pictures of me holding up each envelope and put them up on facebook so that my whole social network could see. When I pressed the "submit" button for the first time on an online application I made my whole family come and watch. It was like waiting for the ball to drop on new years eve.

Needless to say, I do get stressed out. Everyone does. I get stressed when it's 11 or 12 at night and I still have more work or studying to do but I know that I have to go to sleep because if I don't I will get sick. I lie in bed trying to get my rest but I just end up stressing out for another hour. Not a good thing, especially with my tummy, which I often compare to the san andreas fault in California because of how sensative and high maintanance it can be. Last friday, I stayed home sick and went to the doctor. I got really stressed out because I had to stay home and rest. I'm the type of person that keeps going and going and going. I push myself until the point where my body has to do something, such as getting sick, to make me stop and let myself rest. So on friday I had to rest and it stressed me out. I felt like I was wasting my time by lying in bed reading all day. It really made me upset.

I love looking at my agenda book and seeing everything crossed off because I completed them. It makes me feel worthy. Worthy of what, I'm not sure. Even by doing this blog, I'm feeling good because I'm reminding myself of all the things I've done since September. All the things that may have seemed daunting in the beginning, but which now are completed and finished. Maybe instead of writing a list of things to do we should also write lists of things I've done. It might keep us affloat. Especially us seniors.