Artist Statement

Three Values:
1. Well being/health - This is extremely important to me. A lot of the choices that I make can relate to what would be best for me or what will prevent me from getting sick. I hate not working at optimal capacity and since my body is my medium, I need it to be in tip top shape.
2. Improvement - I'm always looking for what I can do better. How can I work to fix this problem and improve my work? I rarely worry about perfection. I feel good about myself when I look back and realize than I'm better than I was five minutes ago. That gives me a sense of accomplishment.
3. Happiness - I do everything that I do because I know it'll make me happy. I go to dance class, I sing, I do shows because I know I'm happy while I'm doing it. I'm enthusiastic about new projects because for me, that's another chance at happiness. I don't like being upset and when I am upset I tend to try and push it aside as quickly as I can. I tend not to wallow in my grief. Nothing gets done and it feels crappy. I'd much rather be happy so that I could get something done.

It really bugs me when other people are less passionate about the same things that I'm passionate about, or if they're not as focused and dedicated. The best example of this is a rehearsal for a show. I hate sitting around waiting for the director to get everybody's attention. I don't like when people talk and chit chat. My time is precious. If I'm going to choose to spend my time by coming to rehearsal, then we better be getting shit done. I don't have time to wait for other cast members to decide that they're ready to do the one thing that they showed up to rehearsal for - to rehearse. If you're going to be in a show, then be in the show. Don't come to rehearsal and talk about what happened last night on Jersey Shore. I guess I kind of expect everyone to behave the same way that I do, to have the same focus, dedication, passion, and drive. This is why I love tech week so much. It's the one time that I feel every single person has the same desire to plow through everything that needs to get done. And I enjoy that. It creates harmony for me. The buzz of 20 or so cast members all on the same page, working together, and really, really doing what we all auditioned to do.

I also have a hard time finding balance between having a social life and having a life that involves preparing for a professional lifestyle in the arts. I stay home on Friday and Saturday nights more often than I go out. I have homework to do, I have auditions to practice for, lines to memorize, scripts to read. And this year, I had the whole college application process, which I had a lot of fun with oddly enough. I guess I didn't mind staying home and writing essays about theater, and inspiration and myself and how I see my future. I found out how I can survive and be happy with much less of a social life than I thought I needed. From the time span of Sept 24 to Christmas vacation, I hung out with friends outside of school once - on Halloween. At first it bugged me, but I got used to it, and eventually enjoyed the peace of working in my room or at the piano. Come to think of it, making plans with friends became more stressful than any of the school work or theatre related work that I had to do. I hated getting texts "When are you free this week?" I hated saying no to people, but I loved staying home and singing, or working on a monologue, or reading Shakespeare for AP Lit. That's not to say that I don't love my friends. I do. And when I do hang out with them I have so much fun. And part of me does miss going out every Saturday night. I guess what's really important is that I've found ways to make myself happy and to enjoy my own company. I no longer have to rely on other people to bring happiness to me.